A Pedicure, Fish Sauce and Feel Good Expressions...

yesterday i went to get a pedicure. seems like a pretty normal thing for a princess to do right? yeah... that's what i thought.

so i enter the door of the non speaking engrish establishment, and the mama (damn they're everywhere huh?), asks what i need done. i tell her "pedicure". she then points in the general direction of where the spa pedicure chairs are, and says to one of the dudes, "ngo nga wen"... ok i made that shit up... she says "peh-day-kyooa" and skeedaddles him to his hustle. as i'm following him to the chair, he asks me how i'm doing, what's my name... you know basic questions. i mean, i've been to this establishment many o' times, but i've never had this dude fix my feet or hands.

so i get to the chair, start the vibration (no pun intended) and of course they be tryna upgrade all kind of shit while you're sitting in the chair... french manicure, additional $5 ($7-$10 in some other "uppity" places)... flowers/nail design, additional $5 per nail... manicure, $12... fill... you get the point. so i tell dude, i just want the francais por favor. so he started the pedicure did the basic filing, cutting, shaping, scraping, pumice stoning, etc. then came the massage...

why was this dude giving me the "feel good expressions" while massaging my feet? and why was he smiling (with teeth) when doing it? all he had left to say was, "do you like that? harder? deeper? does that feel good?mmmmm, say my name!"...and i woulda been through! the teeth alone gave me the creeps, and the smell of fish sauce in the air was not going well with his sex face.

don't get me wrong, the massage was spec-fucking-tacular... but the whole seduction scene i coulda lived without.